what if prayer was only listening?

Exactly two weeks from today, I will be meeting my team and getting ready to allow God take us on a journey. But whoa has he taken me on a journey so far. Humility and brokenness. These are just two of the things that God is in the midst of teaching. What is my heart focused on, how is my prayer life being magnified for the lord?

To be honest, I had a break down. I started to question if my praying for the funds for Africa were going to change anything. It was a struggle in my theology of prayer and the doctrine of God, whether or not prayer changes God's mind. What about the story in Jonah, did God change his mind there? This is something that I am still pressing through, but I do know that we are commanded to pray. So, I will continue to praise my God and lift him up. I will continue to pray for South Africa and the funds that I have yet to receive. I had to question whether or not this was God's will for my life, not to go. But then I felt a peace, that same peace that I have had all along, but I still question and doubt. I am weak, but I know that my God is strong.

As I am praying, it is chance for me not to beg or have God to change his mind, but allow myself to be broken, lay myself down, and allow God to do whatever he pleases and that is WHATEVER. Through these times of prayer I ask that I would learn how to pray with hearing and not talking. What is god telling me, what does he want me to hear.

So, as I find myself broken and still at peace, God has laid on my heart Zephaniah 3.

Thank you to those who have given with their heart, their prayers, and their time. Keep praying and let me know what God is saying to you!

Father,

I pray that today you can find me being faithful to your will.

I ask that you continually have Africa on my mind. Not that I will get the support in, because that too is a need, however, I want to focus on the people. Their hurts, needs, desires, and disconnection with the father.

Teach us how to love them, support them.

I also pray for the political issues and the how destruction seems to be taking over. I pray for hope.

Someone said to me last week, Nikkie you always have hope. Well I don't think it is entirely true, but I pray that we don't lose hope in our Father, for he is our one true provider and deliver. Father I ask that you would show hope to those who seem to either lost hope or have never found true hope.

language. how does our language affect ministry. how does it affect evangelism. how careful and how much do we realize that our language is contextualized the the culture we are surrounded by and yet we are surrounded by but put up a wall because they don't understand?

oh the people you meet

so today I am down in san diego. I could write a book on all the things that I have learned from people, the experiences that I have encounters.... interruptions maybe even beautiful interuptions and more.

but today I am deciding to write about sarah. my newest friend. Wow, she speaks truth into my life. Not only did she speak truth into my life, but give encouragement and assurance to remember that our father is the provider of all things.

He will provide the thousands of dollars that are needed. and he will provide the prayer support and he will be faithful so that I too can honor deadlines.

So father, as in this moment I ask to you continue to teach me about surrender. Surrender my thoughts, my heart, my actions. I can't do this on my own, and if I choose to live and act according to my self consciousness, and not by God's consciousness than I am basically choosing to full knowing to live in sin.

Because of your grace, your sweet sweet grace, you cover me for those moments I fail to respond to you and move by you. Teach me to surrender!

your dearest daughter

sponsors.

I want to thank those who have been willing to give their prayers and support.

Beth and Dan Stockum
Michael Wong
Briarlake Baptist Church
The Berger's
Lydia Herndon
private donor

the zoo.

Yesterday I took the little girl I babysit to the San Francisco Zoo. It was such a delight, not just to see the beautiful smile of a child when she interacts with the animals, or the laughter when the penguins make a funny noise, or the faces she makes when she realizes that the animals sometimes don't bathe and therefore smell. But there was another beauty that came out of the trip to the zoo.

We got there fifteen mins, before they would let us in. However there is a gift shop that is open for visitors to have the option of spending their time and money before allowed going into the actual park. There we find ourselves enjoying a lolli-pop. Also, just past the building to pay for parking there is a fence in which over looks the "african savanna." How delighted I was... you think that I was a little girl looking at such fascinating creatures that I have never seen before. There were two adult giraffes and one child. There were having their morning snacks. An image in which I feel like I have only imagined. Right before my I eyes, I see a numerous amount of african animals.

My heart began to feel heavy. heavy for those who live in south africa. those who are dealing with everyday struggles whether that is sickness, food, loneliness, or in the midst of political battles. My heart started to beat as a intercessory prayer for those.

My heart was also heavy. For God placed this opportunity and this call to go out and serve. Now writing this blog, I feel conviction. Even though I was called to serve on the foreign mission field in this short term trip, how have I currently served those who I live amongst everyday.
"father, hear my heart, hear my cry. father as I prepare for this trip I ask that you would also prepare my heart in serving others. lead me and teach me in this moment and in moments to come." anyways, I confess that I have a burden that my finances wont come in, I wont make the deadlines. This is a fear in which I hide, for we are to call upon the lord and trust. But I am scared, so I pray that he too will heal this burden in my heart. Allow my thoughts, actions, and hope surrender to you! at the same time, we are called to pray.

So I pray for the people that the group will encounter. I pray for the group members for most of us do not know each other. I pray that your spirit will be upon us. I pray that you will press on the hearts that are to lead and those who are supposed to give. I pray for the safety and the lives that will be changed. our lives will be changed. father, let your glory shine through out the nations.

south africa. december 2008.

I am pleased to let you know of the most recent opportunity in my life. At the end of December I will be traveling with a group of 30 students and leaders to South Africa.

We will be working with AIDS hospitals and local orphanages. We will also be going through out local villages and supporting them in soccer camps as well. Now, soccer has always been one of those things I have loved. However, with the world cup on their way to Africa, I have a feeling this will be an intense time.

Now. The main reason for this blog is for awareness. To pray. And to help raise financial support. The trip's total will be close to $4,000 with local airfare. There is also a deadline that is fast approaching. November 17th and 30th.

If you or someone you know would like to support this fund, please email me at NikLLeigh@aol.com or make a donation to Do Missions, INC. and send it to
Nikkie Bruley
403 Storer Drive #975
Mill Valley, CA 94941

All donations are tax deductible.