Exactly two weeks from today, I will be meeting my team and getting ready to allow God take us on a journey. But whoa has he taken me on a journey so far. Humility and brokenness. These are just two of the things that God is in the midst of teaching. What is my heart focused on, how is my prayer life being magnified for the lord?
To be honest, I had a break down. I started to question if my praying for the funds for Africa were going to change anything. It was a struggle in my theology of prayer and the doctrine of God, whether or not prayer changes God's mind. What about the story in Jonah, did God change his mind there? This is something that I am still pressing through, but I do know that we are commanded to pray. So, I will continue to praise my God and lift him up. I will continue to pray for South Africa and the funds that I have yet to receive. I had to question whether or not this was God's will for my life, not to go. But then I felt a peace, that same peace that I have had all along, but I still question and doubt. I am weak, but I know that my God is strong.
As I am praying, it is chance for me not to beg or have God to change his mind, but allow myself to be broken, lay myself down, and allow God to do whatever he pleases and that is WHATEVER. Through these times of prayer I ask that I would learn how to pray with hearing and not talking. What is god telling me, what does he want me to hear.
So, as I find myself broken and still at peace, God has laid on my heart Zephaniah 3.
Thank you to those who have given with their heart, their prayers, and their time. Keep praying and let me know what God is saying to you!
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